Om Olyckan

En liten bakgrund till vad jag ställt till med hösten 2013, och vad som orsakade födelsen av den här bloggen från första början… Liten varning utfärdas för äckliga detaljer.
Jag är en klassisk ”duktigmänniska” som ska göra allt, mycket och hela tiden.
Jobb, plugg, familj, vänner, etc.
Extra allt!
Och helst med bravur.
Detta straffade sig när jag efter typ ett helt vuxenliv av intensitet och stress närmade mig den berömda väggen. JAg var alltid sen och hade alltid saker som inte hanns med. Blev sjukskriven för utmattningssyndrom och ägnade sommaren 2013 åt att försöka tänka annorlunda.
Omvärdera.
Omprioritera.
Bytte jobb och hann vara där en halv vecka, bra precis.
Sedan försatte jag mig i en besvärlig situation:
en singelolycka med cykeln på väg till bussen en ljum augustikväll.
Väskan hamnade i hjulet, mitt huvud hamnade i asfalten.
Klantigt!
En hel tand, lite blod och en flock tandflisor åkte ut på plats.
Och jag insåg snabbt att nån finmiddag med vänner skulle det inte bli den kvällen…
Det tog över sex timmar för käkkirurgerna att plocka ut mina åtta krossade tänder och försöka rädda ytterligare fyra stackare som inte helt gett upp hoppet. De lagade min käke med titanplattor och skruvar och sydde ihop mig. Med fixerad käke har jag tagit mig igenom de första sex veckorna ganska helskinnad om än tilltufsad.
Läkningsprocessen försenades av upprepade infektioner i operationssåret och benflisor från överkäken som tvingade sig ut genom blottade hål där tänder förut suttit.
Framför mig låg sedan en segdragen och lång process innan alla implantat var på plats och jag blev fysiskt hel igen. Så hel jag kan bli.
Jag vet nu vad smärta är och hur lite man orkar göra om man lever på välling och vatten.
Och jag vet även att det är fullt möjligt att man år 2013 i Sverige, i tiden, idag kan få en bit gummihandske fastsydd vid sin käke!
Inte bara en utan tre gånger!
Det är ett under att jag inte blivit galen av alla de timmar jag legat raklång i sovrummet och inte tänkt på något.
Min räddning blev skrivandet, precis som det blivit tidigare, när jag var mindre och hade kärlekstrassel och livsbekymmer.
När jag var 12. 16. 18. 20. 23.
När min pappa dog.
Så skrivandet blev min linje ut från sovrummets fyra väggar och ut från mitt eget huvud.
Efter lite påtryckningar började jag blogga istället för att Facebooka evighetsstatusar.
Ungefär så är den.
Min story.
I kortversion!
(Skrivet 2013-10-01, uppdaterat successivt sedan dess.)

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