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Jag kan men jag tänker inte!

2018-04-10


Just idag har jag varit helt utan värktabletter i alla former, storlekar och färger i två veckor. Samma sak med alkohol. Det var enkelt att skippa alkoholen, för även om det är fint med ett glas bubbel (eller fem 🙂 ) så kanske det mest är en social grej för mig, egentligen. Och social kan jag vara ändå, generellt sett i alla fall. Just nu sen jag började på Smärtrehab är precis allt i obalans så jag är inte världsbäst på att socialisera eller ens umgås med mig själv längre stunder utan att få fnatt i hjärnan. Men det ger väl sig…
Svårare var – och är – det att vara utan de där värktabletterna. Eller helt utan är jag inte egentligen: jag har tagit ”för husbehov”, dvs inte regelbundet utan väldigt sporadiskt. Jag tar när jag verkligen inte står ut. Kanske blir det ny epilepsimedicin säger min läkare på Smärtrehab, vi får se! Den förra (Tegretol) var en riktig hjärndödare. Mer biverkningar än goda effekter. Kanske finns det en annan som kan passa bättre!
Oavsett vilket så ska jag vara utan piller ett tag nu, och se om det gör nån skillnad på smärtupplevelsen. Jag vill ju att det ska märkas skillnad, för annars betyder ju det att jag kanske knaprat Alvedon, Ipren, Diklofenak, Naproxen och tyngre grejer som Citodon, Kodein, Tramadol och Ketogan så här lång tid efter olyckan helt i onödan!? Än så länge har jag o n t, dvs ondare än med piller, och jag hoppas att det inte bara är inbillning eller abstinens.
I korta drag så kan jag dricka alkohol och äta mina vanliga värktabletter om jag vill. Men det vill jag inte. Jag kan men jag tänker inte. Det är dags att testa nåt nytt, och att våga möta det onda istället för att döva det är kanske enda vägen, vad vet jag?
Känner mig sjukt tuff och cool som bara slutat, även om det bara är tillfälligt. Fråga mig igen om några veckor så ska vi se om jag fortfarande ratar bubbel! 😀 Det känns inte lika glammigt att sippa på ett glas saft, så oddsen är emot mig. Eller vad tror du? 🙂

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