— Livet, Människa i världen, Personligt, Tankar —

Periodaren

2020-04-16
I mörkret finns också ljuset.

Jag vet att jag är en periodare.
En bland många.
Ett missbruksbarn av vår tid.
Jag knarkar trygghet och kontroll och när det tar slut, som nu, vad gör jag då?
Jag lättar på låset.
Släpper på ramen.
Ängsligt gläntar jag på den knarrande dörren och famlar i mörkret.
Letar ljusknappen.
Tankarna myllar, flyger, bökar, trängs i dunklet, de formar ord helt för egen maskin, de spottas ut och väller fram som brinnande lava ur en vulkan.
Ostoppbara.
Ganska vackra att betrakta på avstånd ändå.
Men jag vill inte ha dem alltför nära
för det bränns.

Tankarna ter sig oformbara och obegripliga inne i den grå massan. De sväller och tar plats och hamnar i vägen, lite som som klumpiga dörrvakter som hindrar mig att komma in.
Eller ut.
Men jag hänger på låset och ger mig inte.
För ord är konkreta.
De är lösningen.
En sorts motgift.
JA.
Precis vad jag behöver!
Precis vad jag längtar efter.
Motgift.
Bot mot en förgiftad kropp och knopp och allt runtomkring.
Det är vad orden är.
Det är vad orden ger.
Ett sammanhang…

Och nu då?
Nu när jag är åderlåten och nästan alla ord blött ut…
Blir det bättre då?
Nej.
Nej?
Det är balansen som saknas.
Den har aldrig funnits där.
Helt för mycket eller alldeles för lite.
Alltid allt eller inget.
Som en hetsätare och anorektiker i samma person.
Lite som mänskligheten i stort.
Konsumerar allt medan andra svälter.

Balansen felar.
Du och jag, vi ska prata intensivt nätterna igenom och sluka varann hela eller så ska vi förbli tysta i dagar.
Parallelleka.
Låt oss nonchalera verkligheten en stund.
Stunden blir till eoner.
Ett hav av tid flyter stilla förbi, precis utom räckhåll.
I medvetet plågsam tvåsamhet betraktar vi båda hur den andre tynar bort, mitt här i ensamheten där vi tillsammans bor.
Men vi säger inget.
Vi gör inget.
Vi håller andan alldeles för länge i detta själsliga vakuum.
Och sedan blåser vi liv i lungorna igen.
Kippandes efter andan känner vi plötsligt att vi lever, vi lever!
Blodet rusar och vi blir höga på livet och kärleken!
Varma famnar välkomnar den återfunna lyckan.
Fast egentligen är det kanske bara känslan av att ha återfått kontrollen som vi känner av.
Vi syresätter oss snabbt, vi dumma människor.
Vi glömmer fort hur det nyss var.
Vi glömmer.
Om och om, igen och igen.

Jag antar att det är bara så det är.
Livet.
Det är så vi är.
Vi är alla sjuka och skadade, de flesta låtsas bara inte om det.
Eller så förstår vi inte.
Vissa vill inte förstå.
Att just precis så här är livet.
Privilegierad eller ej, så lider vi alla av livet fast på miljarder olika vis.
Och ändå vill vi leva det.
Allra mest i tider då ovissheten stryker runt omkring oss.

Så känns det bättre då?
Nu när orden flutit ut…
Ja.
För för stunden blir det så lugnt och tyst, så sorterat och strukturerat.
Nästan som en perfekt struken duk.
Vit och stram breder den ut sig över bordet och omfamnar det med en slags bestämdhet.
Jag har återfått kontrollen.
Städat i sinnet.
Släppt på trycket, snabbt stängt in smittan.
Min inre poltergeist har somnat av både tristess och svält och vandrar inte instängt runt och luktar förruttnelse mer.
Ibland är det bra att vädra.

Ute blåser en iskall vind men himlen är blå och luften är hög.
Allt går i perioder.
Även du.
Även jag.

Det finns ännu hopp om vår.

Starkt och hoppfullt ändå.

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    from minor leaks to major repairs. The significance of having a skilled plumber in Tukwila cannot be overstated, as proper
    plumbing maintenance and timely repairs are essential for ensuring a safe and comfortable living environment.

    Chipper Plumbing and Radiant is situated in Tukwila, a city founded in 1908.
    Tukwila has developed into a thriving community with a population of 21,377 as of 2022 and 8,
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    role as a significant retail hub, home to Westfield Southcenter, one of
    the largest shopping centers in the Pacific Northwest.
    This dynamic city offers a blend of residential, commercial, and recreational opportunities,
    making it an ideal place to live and work.

    Plumbing repair costs in Tukwila can vary depending on the type of service required.
    Basic services like drain cleaning or faucet repair might range
    from $100 to $300, while more extensive work such as water heater installation or sewer
    repair can cost between $500 and $3,000. Tukwila experiences a range of temperatures, with summer highs reaching around 76°F
    and winter lows dropping to approximately 37°F. These temperature variations make it essential for
    residents to have reliable plumbing systems that can handle both the cold and the heat, ensuring
    year-round comfort and functionality.

    Tukwila offers numerous points of interest that cater to
    various tastes and preferences. Angle Lake Park is a popular destination for outdoor activities, offering beautiful views and
    recreational opportunities. The Aviation Pavilion at the Museum of Flight showcases an impressive collection of historic aircraft.
    The Highline SeaTac Botanical Garden features stunning displays of local and
    exotic plants. Bowlero South Seattle provides fun and entertainment
    for families and friends. Lastly, the Great
    American Casino Tukwila offers gaming and dining experiences for those
    seeking a night out. Each of these attractions provides unique experiences that highlight Tukwila’s diverse cultural and recreational offerings.

    Choosing Chipper Plumbing and Radiant for plumbing services in Tukwila is a wise decision for residents seeking reliable and efficient solutions.
    The company provides a comprehensive range of services, including
    leak detection, pipe repair, and sump pump installation. Chipper
    Plumbing’s commitment to quality workmanship and exceptional customer service ensures that all plumbing needs are met promptly
    and professionally. For those living in Tukwila, Chipper Plumbing and Radiant
    is the trusted partner for maintaining a functional and efficient plumbing system, ensuring peace of mind and comfort throughout the year.

    In Tukwila, Washington, maintaining a reliable plumbing system is essential due to the region’s climate and infrastructure.
    Chipper Plumbing and Radiant offers crucial services such
    as emergency plumbing, drain cleaning, and water heater installation.
    Serving neighborhoods like Foster and Riverton Heights, Chipper Plumbing
    ensures that residents have dependable plumbing systems to
    handle everything from minor leaks to major repairs.
    The importance of skilled plumbers in Tukwila cannot
    be overstated, as proper plumbing maintenance
    and prompt repairs are vital for ensuring a safe and comfortable living environment.

    Chipper Plumbing and Radiant operates in Tukwila, a city
    founded in 1908. Tukwila has grown into a vibrant community with a population of 21,377
    as of 2022 and 8,098 households. The city is well-connected by major highways, including I-5, which facilitates easy travel across the
    region. An interesting fact about Tukwila is its cultural diversity and its status as a
    key retail destination, home to Westfield Southcenter, one of the largest shopping centers
    in the area. This dynamic city offers a mix of residential, commercial, and recreational opportunities, making it an ideal
    place to live and work.

    The cost of plumbing repairs in Tukwila can vary widely depending on the service
    required. Basic services like drain cleaning or faucet repair might range from $100 to
    $300, while more extensive work such as water heater
    installation or sewer repair can cost between $500 and $3,
    000. Tukwila experiences a range of temperatures, with summer highs reaching
    around 76°F and winter lows dropping to approximately 37°F.
    These temperature fluctuations make reliable plumbing systems essential for maintaining
    indoor comfort year-round. Regular maintenance and timely repairs are crucial to prevent system
    failures, especially during the colder months.

    Tukwila offers numerous points of interest that cater to
    a variety of tastes and preferences. Angle Lake Park is a popular destination for outdoor
    activities, offering beautiful views and recreational opportunities.
    The Aviation Pavilion at the Museum of Flight showcases an impressive collection of historic aircraft.
    The Highline SeaTac Botanical Garden features stunning displays of local and
    exotic plants. Bowlero South Seattle provides
    fun and entertainment for families and friends. Lastly, the Great American Casino Tukwila offers gaming and
    dining experiences for those seeking a night out.
    Each of these attractions provides unique experiences that highlight Tukwila’s diverse cultural and recreational offerings.

    Choosing Chipper Plumbing and Radiant for plumbing services in Tukwila is a wise decision for residents seeking reliable and efficient
    solutions. The company offers a comprehensive range of services, including leak
    detection, pipe repair, and sump pump installation. Chipper Plumbing’s commitment to quality workmanship
    and exceptional customer service ensures that all plumbing needs are
    met promptly and professionally. For those living in Tukwila, Chipper
    Plumbing and Radiant is the trusted partner for maintaining a
    functional and efficient plumbing system, ensuring peace of mind
    and comfort throughout the year.

    In Tukwila, Washington, dependable plumbing services are crucial due
    to the city’s varied climate and infrastructure needs.
    Chipper Plumbing and Radiant offers vital services such as emergency
    plumbing, drain cleaning, and water heater installation. Serving neighborhoods like South Beacon Hill and Orillia,
    Chipper Plumbing ensures that residents have reliable plumbing systems to handle everything from minor leaks to major repairs.
    The significance of having a skilled plumber in Tukwila cannot be overstated, as proper plumbing maintenance and timely repairs are essential
    for ensuring a safe and comfortable living environment.

    Chipper Plumbing and Radiant is situated in Tukwila, a city founded in 1908.

    Tukwila has developed into a thriving community with a population of 21,377 as of
    2022 and 8,098 households. The city is well-served by major highways,
    including I-5, which facilitates easy travel across the region. An interesting fact about Tukwila is its role as a significant retail
    hub, home to Westfield Southcenter, one of the largest shopping centers in the Pacific Northwest.

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