Livet, Tankar

18.

18
18 gånger.
Jag har räknat dem alla.
Alla gånger jag försökt koncentrera mig på att skriva en uppsatsplan ikväll.
Det blanka dokumentet stirrar på mig.
Lyser, irriterar, stör.
Får det att klia i bröstet av frustration.
FokuseraFokuseraFokusera.
Men inget kommer.
Inte ens ett ord.
Eller en punkt.
18 gånger.
Det är exakt så många gånger jag kommit på andra tankar.
Tänkt på andra saker.
Allt som inte hör hit. Och allt som gör det.
Allt jag vill tänka. Och allt jag bara vill tänka bort.
Medan det jag borde tänka på virvlar runt planlöst och utan mål därinne i det tomma, mörka, trötta, så tänker jag på precis det jag inte borde tänka på.
Vet du vad vad jag menar…?
Allt.
Allt och inget och ännu mer på samma gång.
18 gånger.
Det är så många gånger jag försökt tvinga mig själv att prestera något. Vad som helst, bara något!
Vara duktig. Och bra. Den jag vill vara.
Tänk rätt!
Inte tänka fel.
Försök göra rätt!
Och glöm för allt i världen det som är mer tilltalande än nåt annat just nu.  Ja, just DET. Det som lockar och drar fastän du inte vill. Och ändå är du fångad. Låst i tanken, fast i en oändlig loop som får hjärtat att slå dubbelslag och som får magen att kittla och bränna och sticka.
18 gånger.
Det är måttet på mitt tillfälliga lilla misslyckande.
Hittills.

14 635 reaktioner på ”18.

  1. video games guide

    Exciting Developments and Renowned Franchises in the Domain of Interactive Entertainment

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    1. Cutting-Edge Enhancement for Skyrim Enhances Non-Player Character Visuals
    A newly-released mod for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim has caught the notice of enthusiasts. This mod implements realistic faces and hair physics for each non-player entities, enhancing the title’s visual appeal and depth.

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    Designers of Skull and Bones have communicated broader initiatives for the title’s second season. This nautical adventure delivers upcoming updates and updates, sustaining fans immersed and engrossed in the world of maritime nautical adventures.

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    भारत में इंटरनेट और स्मार्टफोन की बढ़ती पहुंच ने ऑनलाइन सट्टेबाजी को बड़े पैमाने पर लोकप्रिय बना दिया है। देश के कोने-कोने में इंटरनेट की उपलब्धता और किफायती डेटा प्लान्स ने लोगों को ऑनलाइन प्लेटफॉर्म्स पर क्रिकेट सट्टेबाजी में भाग लेने की सुविधा दी है।

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    क्रिकेट लीग और टूर्नामेंट्स की बढ़ती संख्या ने भी सट्टेबाजी के अवसरों में वृद्धि की है। आईपीएल (Indian Premier League) ने भारतीय क्रिकेट को एक नया आयाम दिया है, और इसका ग्लैमर तथा वैश्विक अपील सट्टेबाजों के लिए अत्यधिक आकर्षक है।

    इसके अतिरिक्त, बीबीएल (Big Bash League), सीपीएल (Caribbean Premier League), और पीएसएल (Pakistan Super League) जैसे अंतरराष्ट्रीय लीग्स ने भी भारतीय सट्टेबाजों को लुभाया है।

    इन कारकों के साथ-साथ, बेटवीसा जैसे प्रमुख ऑनलाइन कैसीनो और खेल प्लेटफॉर्मों ने भी भारत में ऑनलाइन क्रिकेट सट्टेबाजी की बढ़ती लोकप्रियता में महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका निभाई है। बेटवीसा की बेहतरीन सुविधाएं और सुरक्षा उपाय उपयोगकर्ताओं को एक विश्वसनीय और आरामदायक गेमिंग अनुभव प्रदान करते हैं।

    समग्र रूप से, इंटरनेट और स्मार्टफोन की बढ़ती पहुंच, क्रिकेट लीग/टूर्नामेंट्स की संख्या में वृद्धि, और प्रमुख ऑनलाइन प्लेटफॉर्मों की आगमन ने भारत में ऑनलाइन क्रिकेट सट्टेबाजी को बढ़ावा दिया है।

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