— Livet, Tankar —

18.

2014-01-16

18
18 gånger.
Jag har räknat dem alla.
Alla gånger jag försökt koncentrera mig på att skriva en uppsatsplan ikväll.
Det blanka dokumentet stirrar på mig.
Lyser, irriterar, stör.
Får det att klia i bröstet av frustration.
FokuseraFokuseraFokusera.
Men inget kommer.
Inte ens ett ord.
Eller en punkt.
18 gånger.
Det är exakt så många gånger jag kommit på andra tankar.
Tänkt på andra saker.
Allt som inte hör hit. Och allt som gör det.
Allt jag vill tänka. Och allt jag bara vill tänka bort.
Medan det jag borde tänka på virvlar runt planlöst och utan mål därinne i det tomma, mörka, trötta, så tänker jag på precis det jag inte borde tänka på.
Vet du vad vad jag menar…?
Allt.
Allt och inget och ännu mer på samma gång.
18 gånger.
Det är så många gånger jag försökt tvinga mig själv att prestera något. Vad som helst, bara något!
Vara duktig. Och bra. Den jag vill vara.
Tänk rätt!
Inte tänka fel.
Försök göra rätt!
Och glöm för allt i världen det som är mer tilltalande än nåt annat just nu.  Ja, just DET. Det som lockar och drar fastän du inte vill. Och ändå är du fångad. Låst i tanken, fast i en oändlig loop som får hjärtat att slå dubbelslag och som får magen att kittla och bränna och sticka.
18 gånger.
Det är måttet på mitt tillfälliga lilla misslyckande.
Hittills.

facebook Share on Facebook
Twitter Tweet
Follow Follow us

14 635 reaktioner på ”18.”

  8. Ретрит http://ретриты.рф международное обозначение времяпрепровождения, посвящённого духовной практике. Ретриты бывают уединённые и коллективные; на коллективных чаще всего проводится обучение практике медитации.

  9. Hi, just required you to know I he added your site to my Google bookmarks due to your layout. But seriously, I believe your internet site has 1 in the freshest theme I??ve came across.Seo Paketi Skype: By_uMuT@KRaLBenim.Com -_- live:by_umut

  19. Summary
    Kamala Harris and Donald Trump have had a fiery 90-minute debate in Philadelphia – their first of the 2024 US presidential election
    [url=https://kraken10-gl.com]kra4.gl[/url]
    After shaking hands – it was the first time they had met – the pair debated policy before moving onto more personal attacks

    Harris said people leave Trump rallies early ”out of exhaustion and boredom” – he said people don’t go to hers in the first place
    kra4 gl
    https://kra5gl.net
    Trump criticised Harris’s record on immigration and the border, and also her shifting policy positions – Harris blamed him for ”Trump abortion bans” and for the 6 January attacks on the US Capitol

    Snap polls suggest Harris won the debate, but Trump says afterwards that she ”lost very badly”

    With the election taking place on 5 November, Harris is slightly ahead in national opinion polls – but polls are very tight in key battleground states

    Shortly after the debate, Taylor Swift endorsed Harris on Instagram, calling her a ”gifted leader”

  20. Summary
    Kamala Harris and Donald Trump have had a fiery 90-minute debate in Philadelphia – their first of the 2024 US presidential election
    [url=https://kra8-gl.cc]kra4.cc[/url]
    After shaking hands – it was the first time they had met – the pair debated policy before moving onto more personal attacks

    Harris said people leave Trump rallies early ”out of exhaustion and boredom” – he said people don’t go to hers in the first place
    kra 4
    https://kra9gl.cc
    Trump criticised Harris’s record on immigration and the border, and also her shifting policy positions – Harris blamed him for ”Trump abortion bans” and for the 6 January attacks on the US Capitol

    Snap polls suggest Harris won the debate, but Trump says afterwards that she ”lost very badly”

    With the election taking place on 5 November, Harris is slightly ahead in national opinion polls – but polls are very tight in key battleground states

    Shortly after the debate, Taylor Swift endorsed Harris on Instagram, calling her a ”gifted leader”

  21. Summary
    Kamala Harris and Donald Trump have had a fiery 90-minute debate in Philadelphia – their first of the 2024 US presidential election
    [url=https://kra9.gl-kra9.cc]kra4 gl[/url]
    After shaking hands – it was the first time they had met – the pair debated policy before moving onto more personal attacks

    Harris said people leave Trump rallies early ”out of exhaustion and boredom” – he said people don’t go to hers in the first place
    kra4.gl
    https://kra-6.gl
    Trump criticised Harris’s record on immigration and the border, and also her shifting policy positions – Harris blamed him for ”Trump abortion bans” and for the 6 January attacks on the US Capitol

    Snap polls suggest Harris won the debate, but Trump says afterwards that she ”lost very badly”

    With the election taking place on 5 November, Harris is slightly ahead in national opinion polls – but polls are very tight in key battleground states

    Shortly after the debate, Taylor Swift endorsed Harris on Instagram, calling her a ”gifted leader”

  33. Промокод для фрибета Фонбет https://mcv26.ru/news/aktualnuy_promokod_fonbet_pri_registracii.html
    Промокоды для фрибета от Фонбет предоставляют пользователям возможность сделать бесплатные ставки. Промокод ’GIFT200’ активирует фрибеты для новых пользователей, что позволяет сделать ставки без использования собственных средств. Эти промокоды увеличивают шансы на выигрыш и делают игру более увлекательной.

  42. Drought-hit Danube River reveals scuttled German World War II ships
    [url=https://vk.com/video867628273_456239018]жесток порно видео[/url]
    The wrecks of explosives-laden Nazi ships sunk in the Danube River during World War II have emerged near Serbia’s river port town of Prahovo, after a drought in July and August that saw the river’s water level drop.

    Four vessels dating from before 1950 have also come to light in Hungary’s Danube-Drava National Park near Mohacs, where the Danube’s water level stood at only 1.5 meters (4.9 feet) on Tuesday, the lingering effect of severe heat waves and persistent drought in July and August.

    The vessels revealed in Prahovo were among hundreds scuttled along the Danube by Nazi Germany’s Black Sea fleet in 1944 as they retreated from advancing Soviet forces, destroying the ships themselves. The wrecks can hamper river traffic during low water levels.
    Strewn across the riverbed, some of the ships still have turrets, command bridges, broken masts and twisted hulls, while others lie mostly submerged under sandbanks.

    Endre Sztellik, a guard at the Danube-Drava national park, said of one of the ships, “we still don’t know what this is exactly. What is visible and an unfortunate fact is that the wreck is diminishing as people are interested in it and parts of it are going missing.”
    The Danube stood at 1.17 meters (3.8 feet) in Budapest on Tuesday, which compares with an all-time record low of around 0.4 meters (1.3 feet) registered in October 2018. During floods, the Danube rises well above 6 meters (19.7 feet).

    “Eastern Europe is experiencing critical drought conditions that are affecting crops and vegetation,” the European climate service Copernicus said on its website in its latest drought report, published earlier this month.

  44. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту бытовой техники с выездом на дом.
    Мы предлагаем:ремонт крупногабаритной техники в новосибирске
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

  47. Actress Gemma Arterton says director tried to pressure her to do sex scene
    [url=https://kra10gl.net]kra9.gl[/url]

    British actress Gemma Arterton has revealed that a director once tried to put pressure on her to film a sex scene, despite the fact that it wasn’t included in the script.

    In an interview with British publication the Radio Times, released Tuesday, Arterton said that, whilst on set, the director – who hasn’t been named – instructed her and her co-star to film a sex scene on a bed.

    “I said, ‘No, this scene was written for us to be off screen, so you just hear the noises,’” Arterton told the Radio Times. “I’d never have accepted the role if it was going to be filmed.”

    https://kraken7-gl.cc
    kra2.gl

    The actress said that she was pressured by the director to film the scene, but that she “flat out” refused to take part in it.

    Had she been younger at the time, Arterton suggested that she might have been more concerned about being fired for refusing to film it.

    “I only felt like I could say that because I was older,” she said.
    “When I started acting, there was a lot of nudity – you were just expected to do it. When I was younger I played sexy characters, the girlfriend. As I’ve got older, that’s changed because I’m more successful and can choose the parts I want to play,” she said.

    She praised the use of intimacy coordinators in film and television since the #MeToo movement, telling the magazine that “it’s a totally different landscape” now.

    “Anything you’re not comfortable with is not going to happen. I’ve heard other actors that are like, ‘I loved it when there was no intimacy coordinator,’ but I definitely think it’s better,” she said.

  48. Long-lost copy of the US Constitution, found in North Carolina filing cabinet, heads to auction
    [url=https://kraken2trfqodidvlh4aa337cpzfrhdlfldhve5n7instad.com]kra14.cc[/url]
    Historical document appraiser and collector Seth Kaller spreads a broad sheet of paper across a desk. It’s in good enough condition that he can handle it, carefully, with clean, bare hands. There are just a few creases and tiny discolorations, even though it’s just a few weeks shy of 237 years old and has spent who knows how long inside a filing cabinet in North Carolina.

    At the top of the first page are familiar words but in regular type instead of the sweeping Gothic script we’re used to seeing: “WE, the People …”

    And the people will get a chance to bid for this copy of the US Constitution — the only of its type thought to be in private hands — at a sale by Brunk Auctions on Sept. 28 in Asheville, North Carolina.
    https://kraken5af44k24fwzohe6fvqfgxfsee4lgydb3ayzkfhlzqhuwlo33adonion.org
    kra13.gl
    The minimum bid for the auction of $1 million has already been made. There is no minimum price that must be reached.

    This copy was printed after the Constitutional Convention finished drafting the proposed framework of the nation’s government in 1787 and sent it to the Congress of the ineffective first American government under the Articles of Confederation, requesting they send it to the states to be ratified by the people.

    It’s one of about 100 copies printed by the secretary of that Congress, Charles Thomson. Just eight are known to still exist and the other seven are publicly owned.

Kommentarer är stängda.