För drygt sju månader sedan påbörjade jag min högst ofrivilliga förvandling till halvrobot, då jag fick några titanplattor och ett gäng skruvar inopererade i huvudet efter min rätt så klantiga cykelolycka. En del fixeringsskruvar plockades bort med tiden men nu är det alltså dags för modelluppdatering, och två schyssta implantatskruvar sitter nu inborrade i käkbenet.
Äckligt kan man tycka!
Och det gör man.
Verkligen.
I alla fall jag, samtidigt som jag är väldans tacksam över att tekniken finns.
Började osökt tänka i cyborg-banorna igen när jag nyligen insåg att jag kommer att bestå av en hel del metallskrot i huv’et innan jag är färdigmodellerad, så att säga. Det är onekligen en väldigt märklig känsla, kanske mycket eftersom jag har svårt för silikoninlägg, botox och andra kroppsmodifierande ingrepp. När jag skriver ”svårt för” menar jag inte att jag ser ner på folk med sillisar och anktrut, inte alls. Jag har bara svårt att förstå tjusningen med att betala hutlösa pengar för att pumpa upp tuttarna (såvida man inte är bröstcancerpatient – då kommer saken liksom i en annan dager!) eller skapa styva läppar med hjälp av gift.
Varför, liksom?
Men för all del, alla gör som de vill. Om man inte gör en faceplant i asfalten, för då förlorar man tydligen rättigheterna att göra som man vill. 😁
Då jävlar ska det tvångsopereras! 😉
Ödets ironi: att just jag skulle få en fet överläpp och fejktänder!
Man kan nästan tycka att de kunde bjussat på en ansiktslyftning när de ändå var där och drog, men så roligt skulle vi inte ha?
Jävla smålänningar.
Skämt åsido, jag är tacksam för sjukvården, tekniken och de multipla olycksfallsförsäkringar jag ligger inne med! Ett hett tips till alla som cyklar och stressar, speciellt i kombination: kolla era försäkringar! 😉 Och använd för gudarnas skull hjälm och sunt förnuft (dvs häng inget på styret. Nå’nsin.) Annars blir det kanske robot-förvandling vare sig du vill eller ej. Själv har jag alltså belönats med en botoxinspirerad överläpp och snart nog ett nytt smajl, helt gratis i pengar men jävligt kostsamt om man räknar i energiåtgång.
Allt det här rymdskrotet som ryms under min hud integreras sekund för sekund och smälter sakta in mitt skelett… Det känns helt bisarrt, lite som att jag är Reservdelskvinnan eller en Terminator-rollfigur. (Gärna den snygga tjejen då, om man får välja!)
Och så funderar jag kring hur det kommer att se ut när jag är död! Ett kranie med skrot lite överallt? 😬
Scary shit! 🙂
Samtidigt som jag konstaterar situationens ofrånkomliga märklighet, inser jag att det inte går att göra mycket åt saken.
Det är som det är när det inte blev som det skulle!
Och vad gör man då?
Just ja.
Accepterar faktum och förhåller sig till rådande förhållanden.
Så dagens råd blir:
Livet är kort så le medan du har tänder!
Se’n får man vackert vänta ett tag på sin cyborg-transformering och snart nog kan man le igen! ❤️
(Och däremellan fuskar jag friskt och ler rätt mycket i alla fall!)
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