Fiktion (karaktärer, små alster, mm), Kreativitet, Livet, Skrivande, Tankar

Förändringarnas tid

Novemberkväll och mörkret är verkligen överallt.
Jag är ensam hemma och väldigt mycket själv, i alla fall på nedanvåningen.
Kravlösheten har i vanlig ordning kapplöpning med prestationsdrivet.
Just nu har kravlösheten tagit överhanden och det innebär att jag hittas djupt försjunken i soffan utan minsta tecken på liv.
Allt är släckt förutom några stearinljus framför mig.
Lågorna är konstanta. Klara, tydliga, kontrollerade.
De lyser upp, sprider ljus och värme, och skapar en alldeles speciell, nästan magisk känsla.
Det känns som det är tid för Något. Något behöver ske för att jag inte ska inte stagnera som människa. Det skrämmer skiten ur mig, att bara vara jag precis som jag är och alltid har varit, utan utveckling och framåtsträvan. Och samtidigt blir jag trött av det här eviga drivet, att aldrig vara helt nöjd och stilla inuti.
Det kliar och skaver och stör lite grann i själen.
En oro, en längtan, en önskan efter nå’t annat.
Nå’t nytt.
Vanligtvis är detta känslan som infinner sig när jag bestämmer mig för att boka en resa, anmäla mig till en flock distanskurser jag egentligen inte behöver eller ens är så värst intresserad av. Jag vill mest göra något. Något annat, något som bryter tristessen och slentrianen men inte ens resor lockar speciellt mycket, av olika anledning.
Kanske är det tid för något annat.
Kanske är det dags att blåsa liv i alla dessa oändliga historier som legat i dvala. Att låta alla galna, spännande, omöjliga drömmar sväva fritt. Att släppa fri alla stora tankar och alla oproportionerliga känslor. Att väcka alla bitska demoner och alla dess räddande skyddsänglar som trängs inuti huvudet.
Kanske är det bara du det som saknas.
(Cred: @schizoland)

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